[Dim]

Seeing as bribery is clearly acceptable, and has been going on for probably as long as cycling has been around, who should really take action in 2013, dig into their pockets and start splashing the cash..

A couple of obvious ones to start off.

Tyler Farrar $$$ > Everybody

The fact you have to go back to Argyle to find the last decent picture of him winning a race says it all really, Greipel was still with HTC, in fact, I think he was possibly even a neo-pro young Andrei. Tyler would need deep pockets though, pretty much the entire peloton has finished in front of him at some point in the last couple of years.


 

Heinrich Haussler $$ > Peter Sagan
Hell, even google has forgotten him, giving me a picture of David Haussler instead. Simple job, just chuck Sagan a few euro's, surely he can spare one?

Edvald Boasson Hagen $$ > Tom Boonen, Fabian Cancellara, Phillip Gilbert
Edvald is no stranger to throwing the odd bribe around, he chucked Lars Peter Nordhaug a few quid to let him win the Norwegian championships and allegedly handed out over 100,000 euro in 2012 to a certain rider to let him win a classic. Unfortunately that rider was Thor Hushovd

Andy Schleck $$ > Alberto Contador,  Brad Wiggins, Chris Froome, Joaquim Rodríguez, Alejandro Valverde, Vincenzo Nibali, Cadel Evans, Ivan Basso, Frank Schleck, Pat McQuaid, Hein Verbruggen, Michele Acquarone, Christian Prudhomme.......
Can I just win one.. please....

[Havetts]

Ok seeing somebody has to do this it might as well be me:

Robert Gesink $$$ >> The Tarmac
Mister Tarmac has been a rival to Mister Gesink for a long time in his career, especially in races during France in July is where Mister Tarmac has been the victor in the mano-a-mano year after year. Often leaving Mister Gesink with broken wrists or heavy injuries such as backs heavily bruised, ribs that are bruised which cause the lungs to not function properly for a while.

Here we see Mister Gesink after a confrontation with Señor Tarmac, a notorious comrade of Mister Tarmac.


Should Mister Tarmac not accept the offer, Mister Gesink will possibly avoid the confrontation and try to see how Signore Tarmac will treat him in Italy.